(21st November 2021)

My name is Amanda, and I am from Kampung Kobusak, Penampang, currently working as a communication and visibility officer with PACOS.

            I did not Kaamatan celebration last year because of the COVID-19 pandemic but this year it was fairly okay. We only celebrated among our family members. So, our plan was to order every traditional food that we liked to eat, for example we had pinasakan, which is a fish dish, ikan basung (bigeye scad). It’s steamed and stewed but I forgot what the ramuan (ingredients) is but the dish is sour. We also definitely ordered hinava (pickled raw fish) which is a staple food among Kadazan. It’s our favourite. As for traditional kuih (cake), we had hinompuka. It’s glutinous… it’s made from a type of tepung (flour) processed from beras hitam and wrapped in banana leaves. What else did we have … we also had bambangan (wild mango from Sabah) Besides that, we just sat around, gathered in our living room, listening to evergreen Kadazan songs, very old songs, because we like to reminisce about the past. We sang and that’s pretty much it. We spent time with our family members. Yeah, that’s my pandemic Kaamatan, very short, haha. We celebrated in Sabah and I never celebrate Kaamatan outside of Sabah because it’s just impossible haha!  Even when I was studying in Semenanjung, it’s not really a big celebration. I don’t have many Kadazan friends in Semenanjung. Kaamatan celebration only feels right when you go back home to your family, to your community.

 

(What do you feel about the online celebration held by the KDCA this year?)

Besides the scandal, overall, I think it is a good step forward, a good response to our COVID situation. If it is necessary [to hold the online celebration], I don’t think so, but I guess for entertainment’s sake and well, they had budget to do it so, ok lah, for me, it’s fine. However, it was very much a focus on the beauty pageant which kind of defeats the purpose of Kaamatan. It kind of over commercialised the Kaamatan. I don’t really remember how it [the online celebration] went already, but I just remembered that there wasn’t a lot of focus on culture. It was so focused, hyper-focused on the beauty pageant, and then later on, we found out about all the harassment issues, and it just left a bad taste in the mouth. It wasn’t a nice response and umm … it still did not successfully assimilate between the traditional and modern. It kind of lost its purpose because of what I just said. It focused on the beauty pageant, instead of what Kaamatan is about. But I guess, in other words, people are stressed at home, and they probably took it as a nice entertainment.

 

(How can you compare between this year’s Kaamatan and the previous years of Kaamatan?)

This year’s Kaamatan was much more intimate. We were able to spend more time with our family, because back in the day, what I know is that Kaamatan (is about) spending time with family and doing things that are, if I were in the kampung (village), I would go to kebun or to paddy field. But because I don’t live in kampung area so, I didn’t get to do that. In the previous years, how I would celebrate with my family: I was able to meet everyone, all my extended relatives, and we would always hold sukaneka, simple sports events like maybe lumba lari (running game) or a traditional game like bowling kelapa. I don’t know what it’s called in Malay – it’s a competition where you “siapa yang paling cepat buka kelapa,” (who is the first to dehusk a coconut) will win.  In Kadazan I think it’s called mongingkin, something like that. And also, this traditional sports called “siapa yang paling laju buka buah pinang” (who is the first to open a betel nut). Yes, that’s how we used to do it on both my mom and dad’s side of the family. Actually, in 2019 we had a really huge Kaamatan celebration because the culture here in Sabah is that we are like one big family. We joke about how all Kadazans are related to each other because we really have a big family. So, we like to jejak kasih (find out our roots and see how we are related). We compete against others’ families in the games. That is, we have the same families but different clans, so still under one big umbrella, we’re all still related. So, on my mom’s side, my great-grandparents had 9 siblings. There were 9 families competing each other. That’s how we did it in 2019. We even booked the Penampang Stadium to hold the sukaneka. Tt was really that big. It was really nice, and I think sports really bring families together because when you are in an adrenaline rush, everyone wants to support each other, everybody wants to win, and everyone was also sporting, nobody was like, “Oh, you won, so I hate you”, it’s not like that; we are always in good spirit. We also get to meet our cousins because we should at least kenal-kenal sikit (get to know a little bit) our cousins and yeah, so that is the excitement of it lah.

            But, during this pandemic, (year) 2020 (had) no Kaamatan. In 2021, I realised one thing that has changed is, people are more aware that we have not really been celebrating Kaamatan properly because of the hyper-fixation on the beauty pageant. And the way I see it when people posted on social media, they are able to reflect on how we’ve just been focusing on the wrong thing. We have not really gone back and reflect on and try to understand what Kaamatan is about. So, I don’t know if this is going to continue once the pandemic calms down, but it is interesting to see how things turn out next year.

 

(What is your own reflection on Kaamatan? How do you see your identity as a Kadazan?)

Honestly when I was growing up, I didn’t really care about Kaamatan. Actually, I hated it when I was 8 because I was forced to join the Unduk Ngadau. As a kid, I didn’t like it because the clothing was very constricting. But as I grow older, and I went to university and met a lot of people then I realised that I shouldn’t take my culture for granted. I shouldn’t try to … because back in the day, the media that we watched are very western-centric so, we tend to try to remove a large part of ourselves to try to fit in with the general consensus that people think that if you are westernised then you are more civilised. But as I grow older, I start to embrace my Nativeness by learning the language better, by speaking it and also learning more about the taboos and the superstitions that we have in our culture. Even if I don’t personally follow them but it is an interesting look into the olden days of mindset. I’ve also been a little bit of looking at it all as an activist to re-educate peers around me because out of the Kadazan in my groups of friends, I am the only one who could speak and understand Kadazan better, and have experience in Kadazan rituals, Kaamatan rituals, and the Bobohizan rituals. So, I have some experiences to re-tell and share with all my friends. They realised that it (culture) is an interesting aspect and it’s sad to really just see it die just because everyone wants to be very westernised and modern. I am also realising that our Kaamatan celebration has been very over-simplified, and people outside of our culture don’t really understand what Kaamatan is about. The first thing that they think about would be itu Unduk Ngadau (that “Unduk Ngadau”). The first thing that comes to their mindset is not about to give thanks to the semangat padi (rice spirit), no matter how mythical the story is, whether it happened or not but, that’s the beauty of our culture lah, we have a lot of folklores. I don’t think it’s important if they try to verify if it really happened or didn’t happen but it’s what makes us who we are. It is what gives us our indigenous knowledge on maybe, how to tanam padi secara tradisional (how to plant rice traditionally) so, even if the story is a little bit exaggerated but at the end of the day, it has some relevance to our agricultural life, our everyday life.

            It’s only this year that I do see people slowly realising how problematic our Kaamatan celebration has been. Even if the progress is slow in realising, at least the awareness is there and young people are more ruthless so we can actually try to fight for a better representation. Because our culture, language (as a Kadazan) has been quite butchered even by the government because they try to teach the Kadazandusun in school, but they try to mix it with other dialects of Kadazan which doesn’t serve its purpose. It’s like telling how to speak Cantonese and Mandarin and mix it together – it doesn’t make sense. We also need better leadership to really implement what it is to have Kadazan language. Basically everyone needs to be on the same page if they want to memartabatkan (give prestige or dignity) our culture because right now we’re very scattered. Like one group of people think this way and vice versa; nobody wants to merge and sit down together and discuss what is important. For now, I feel we’re just an exotic token for tourism, we just want to cater too much for the outside world to understand us better when we ourselves are still confused with our own identity. So, that is my reflection.

 

(How do you share your knowledge as an activist in an NGO?)

I am not an expert in my culture. With how I am doing with my work; I only started in March (this year, 2021). My plan now is to learn about how to really make sure that our culture does not die. I have not started any movement or any foundation to try to strengthen our identity. I don’t think I plan to do that. I have my own way which is, through documentary videos, storytelling. If I ever do it, I will do through films, and write policies maybe, in the future. But for now, it’s more about having a tangible way of showing culture which is through books and videos. I’ve not done any documentaries on my own culture but other cultures that are less known which I’ve only learned about when I started working. All this while, I only know the existence of Kadazan, Kadazandusun, Dusun Tindal in Kota Belud, Bajau, Iranun, and those other ethnic groups in Sabah. Just like Kadazan, there’s also Dusun, Kimaragang, other ethnic groups like Sungai. I’ve never really took the chance to learn about them and it’s only recently I have met people who are of Sungai Makiang ethnicity. With these new discoveries, I feel like I need to sit back for a while and learn in general because when I talk to these people, they are more connected to their roots because they live in the kampung (village), and they believe in living in a tight community. Like the Murut people, they are able to disseminate their cultural knowledge for generations, even some of the young people don’t really care but at least they live in that community. As for me, we live in the bandar (city), we don’t really have a tight knit community and there’s no gathering where everybody knows their neighbours but in the kampung area, they know neighbours from the same background so, they have more knowledge and ideas about their identities of whatever Native groups they belong to. So, at this moment, I’m just taking time to learn about other cultures and at the same time, I’m learning about myself as well.

 

(Do you feel that the online celebration of Kaamatan was part of the objectified culture of Kadazandusun?)

Yes, definitely haha! This will be my own personal opinion lah, I’m sure other people have other ways of seeing it … I mean the way other people see the recent online celebration of Kaamatan is, “Oh, at least we see our baju tradisional (traditional costume) and culture on TV”. I would say yes and no lah because there’s a slight upgrade in how the participants are in our Unduk Ngadau this year. Back then, our Unduk Ngadau were a bit dull, I don’t think that they studied our culture well enough, they just joined it for the sake of joining and then, they get like pre-made answers to answer the questions. But for this year, I think the number 2 (winner) from Ranau or Kundasang I’m not sure, they actually trained for this pageant to learn about their culture so they don’t rely heavily on answers that other people tell them to say because they already have the knowledge. So, they know what to say and they actually take the time to learn about their culture which I think is a good step up, even though it was very small step up, at least it’s in a good direction. And these are young women, trained by young professionals, and it’s good to see that young generations do realise the problem with Unduk Ngadau, and they do try to fix it in their own way.

            As for the objectifying part, I think it’s just a few individuals – however these are influential individuals so, it’s a problem on its own. Even if it’s a small group of people, it’s still problematic. We shouldn’t just brush it off, and I can’t speak for the general population, but I’m not surprised if other people besides these small influential people also see these women as just a vehicle ... a brainless mannequin, something like that. As for promoting our culture, maybe for now it’s like promoting the fashion or how the baju tradisional looks like from different daerah (districts), and the questionnaire asked (to Unduk Ngadau participants) was not in detail. I don’t know if they ever want to step up their game by having these models or women do the hard work at the kampung … I don’t know the process of paddy yet – like tanam padi, ambil padi, tumbuk padi, (plant, get and pound paddy) separating paddies from their husk – the traditional manual works of paddies – bukan setakat just cantik-cantik digambar (not just about looking good in pictures) but actually teach these women how it’s done in the traditional way because I think this is the only time that we can really embrace our traditional life back in the day without being concerned with ourselves in trying to assimilate between traditional and modern. It’s a good time to think about how it’s done in the olden days but, some people probably don’t see the value in this, but it’s time to see that this is valuable.

 

(Do you feel the online Kaamatan should be continued in the next years, if the pandemic continues to restrict the celebration?)

They need to fix this year’s problems first. I don’t know how they can promise that none of those scandals can happen again. I think they should take a break and really reflect because I followed up with the news as well – the organising committee’s press statement shows they can’t handle the case really well. It was almost like they’re whining to the media, more like complaining how they tried so hard to organise this online Kaamatan, only for it not to be appreciated by the general public, they totally brushed out the part of sexual abuse. It was a very serious case. In a press statement, it was highlighted about how difficult it was to organise the event and how the committee worked so hard, but unfortunately this scandal tarnished (the event). It’s only at the end of the paragraph that the sexual abuse was mentioned. I do a close reading whenever I read texts, it’s just a habit that I developed in university so, I can see a person’s intention if they’re genuine with what they are trying to apologise for or not so, to see that how it was highlighted how hard it was personally and for the team to make a successful event, instead of addressing the sexual harassment issues that made it unsuccessful, I can see that they don’t really care on one hand but it also seems that they do care. Then, at the end, instead of the perpetrator being sued for what he did, the lawyer was sued for calling the contestants cattle-girls, which is a fallacy. It’s a big distraction from the actual issue. So, everybody in the community is just like deflecting the actual main problem. I think either change the whole organisation or just take a back seat next year and really look into what they want to portray the next time and how they want to do it in a more respectful way and less overly commercialised. Yeah, I don’t think people would really like and get that much sambutan (reception) next year. I’m not saying that the scandal was a good thing but in its own way, I think it’s time that something troublesome like this affected them, at least it’s going to be a lesson for them lah. Sorry to the victims lah but I think it’s going to be a wake-up call for the organising committee and everyone.

 

(Your last words for a better Kaamatan that can be celebrated in a meaningful way in the future.)

What I wish for the Kaamatan to be is, to be more like … in the KDCA … usually when it’s celebrated in the KDCA, it’s very hectic lah. There are a lot of social problems that happened. One of it is, people get really drunk to the point if you’re driving in the morning, you see people on the road sleeping. That’s really a big shame to our culture. Not so much about what outside people think, it’s a reflection of your whole group of people, if somebody misbehaves like that even if it’s only some individuals. It happened quite often almost every year. So, people get the impression that, “Oh, so Kaamatan is a just a big getting-drunk fest(ival).” That has been a big issue, I don’t know when it started but it has been a while lah. We have traditional houses in the KDCA – during the celebration, people will rent these traditional houses and they would … it’s almost like a happy fest in a traditional house which defeat the purposes of … well, it does not look very Kaamatan-like. It isn’t like how it is done in Indonesia. When I went to Indonesia, in Bali, in August during their holiest month and how they parade in traditional attire, how the youngster give offering to spirits – it’s very nice, even though the surrounding streets are pub areas but you can see the cultural foundation is very strong. People still have respect for their culture. Tourists who visit Bali also understand and have respect for their culture. I could speak in general: I can see that generally people there maintain a very good coexistence between modern tourism and their culture. That culture being a nice attraction, they don’t do it in a commercialised way. I myself don’t understand what’s happening but I like watching it, and they don’t have to explain unless you ask them, and they will tell their story. It is nice to see in the most authentic way, compared to when we’re having Kaamatan, I feel like we’re trying so hard to be understood that we tend to make things very simplified so that outside people can understand. I mean that’s not a problem in trying to educate people who want to know about us, but I think we’re doing it too much to the point that it compromises our identity.

            What I wish is that we should just really look back on what we can, try to relive the olden days lah. Maybe can kasi kurang sikit (lessen) Unduk Ngadau, we can still have it because it’s still entertainment, maybe up the game by having these girls really understand their background. I have a friend who used to follow Unduk Ngadau back in the day, but this friend does not even know one word in Kadazan. Again, it’s just like literally any other beauty pageant. Whoever is pretty, wins, and whoever has the best answer that has already been pre-made can win. If they would like to make this a cultural thing, make it sustainable, something that we all can be proud of, then we should really start having a cultural course to teach these women who are interested to try embodying Huminodun, to really understand what Huminodun stands for and that she’s not just a character that is nice to read in a story but fully embrace her. Focus on the traditional part and make less things entertaining because we’re really losing it by the year. Try fixing some issues that make our celebration less authentic. The future generations will only maybe know Kaamatan more as a simplified celebration, something that can be written in one sentence which is not a good portrayal of our culture because I understood that we are very complex. Native people in Sabah and Sarawak are very complex and hard to be understood, even myself as a Native here, I can’t begin to understand Murut or Rungus or Bajau or Dusun people, although we come from the same roots. During the celebration, we should also look into the people who’re selling food because tidak banyak (not many) people sell traditional food – I think they need to have designated areas. The modern food will be like, the favourite would be burger babi (pork burgers). I know it’s not halal but usually that’s what people go for in the KDCA and those lamb chops and everything. I don’t really see a lot of traditional food, and traditional games are also very limited.